Pearl of Wisdom: When Things Don't Show Up

I bought a dog camera online. You attach it to their collar and it films what they get up to. It was $17 USD. I've been excited about it for a month and a half. I just wish it would actually, you know, arrive.

The risk with online shopping is that there's often an ocean between you and the thing you just bought. You've sent your money off into the ether and have to basically sit and wait for the dividends.

I've had about 5 items just never show up. At first I'm always annoyed, then I feel embarrassed for being so stupid and then I feel kinda happy, because I have too much stuff anyway.

I've never not gotten a refund. That's maybe just me being lucky, but I've yet to experience a seller on any platform who doesn't take responsibility for an item not ending up on my doorstep.

If you think you're in a no-show situation, contact the seller right away. The system is in your favour and most of the time there's a way to resolve it nicely.

Write a sassy letter if you like. On the computer. Just never use typewriters, they're extinct for a reason.
If the seller is silent or refuses to compensate you, when you've waited long enough to be certain that the item isn't going to turn up, contact the relevant platform authorities. AliExpress have an "Open Dispute" option, for example. If you're buying online, only ever use sites that have systems in place for when things go wrong. Be proactive. Feedback systems are pretty good at keeping people honest, but there should also be a way to get the site's actual employees involved to resolve things.

Before you buy, also be sure to check the guarantees. Many seller will offer full refunds, but only if the item is not received within a certain time period, eg, 35 days. Personally, I think this makes no sense at all, because it means I could ask for a refund if the item doesn't show up after two days. I've had things take almost two months to get to me!

In conclusion, be proactive. If you're spending more than $10 online, check all relevant fine print, such as the refund policy and feedback of the store. If less than $10, then they'll happily just chuck you a refund, it's so inconsequential, and it's a cheap life lesson if they refuse.

Let's all just hope and pray that my dog camera shows up. Because I really, really want it to!

If you want some specific advice, do utilise our long-suffering forum. It's really just there for support. We wanted to give you a place to ask for help from us people who waste far too much money online and so have a good idea of how to deal with shonky sellers!

Contributor: Kate, @Springerfield

Pearl of Wisdom: Sigh. Here's How To Get Free Stuff.

This might be a little controversial, but it's totally related to what we're all about.

Absolootely teaches protection instead of abstinence.

Wait, what? Is this a Sex Ed class I just walked into?

No, this is a How-To-Illegally-Download-And-Not-Get-A-Virus class. Because I think some people need it. I had a conversation with my BFF the other day in which she said "There is nowhere on the internet to download Photoshop. And I'm sick of having to do all those surveys, you know, to unlock the site." I hear stuff like that a lot.

Sometimes, you simply won't be able to pay money for something you want. My favourite film is an obscure Israeli drama. I tried really hard to give Nadav Lapid my money in exchange for a dvd, I swear. I like to fund excellence. It isn't available to buy in my dvd region, so I just ended up torrenting it.

It's not your job to provide income to someone else. It's their job.

Right, now that we've excused ourselves, let's get into some downloading!


TORRENTS

The Torrents
by Folography.

The Pirate Bay is the first place I go when I'm looking to download something. TPB is a Torrent Site. A Torrent is something you download that is 'Seeded' by other people and 'Leeched' by you. The more 'Seeds' a torrent has, compared to Leechers, the faster it should download (relative to size, internet speed, etc).

To Torrent, you need a Torrent Program. UTorrent is the best one, get it here.

To download something using Torrenting, simply search The Pirate Bay. When you're an expert, you can Google and use other sites, but for now, we'll stick to the most popular site. When you've found the thing you're looking for, find the version with the most seeders. Check the comment section. The comment section will let you know if it's a fake, if it's good quality, some common issues, etc.

When you click 'Download Torrent', you'll want to open it straight into UTorrent. The .torrent file itself is just a set of instructions for UTorrent, telling it to download your file(s). In UTorrent, you'll pick the destination file, chose which files to download (if there are multiple) and watch the progress of your download.

Torrenting is the most reliable form of illegal downloading. It's the absolute best for large files, as you can pause it or restart your computer and the download won't be affected.

Once you've finished Leeching (downloading) the file, it will start to upload and you will become a Seeder of the file. This helps other people get the file, but it isn't compulsary. It's just nice.

Here's a useful article on avoiding fake torrents.


STRAIGHT DOWNLOADING

I don't know the official term for this, but this is how you usually download stuff. Depending on your Web Browser, it'll work differently. I use a site called FilesTube to find specific files, but you can always try Google.

As there isn't a space for user feedback, it's harder to weed out fakes than with Torrenting and it's much less stable. However, there are far more files available, and much more obscure stuff. If you're looking for your favourite indie band's first EP, this is the way to go. Your first stop should be to look for a Torrent, as a rule of thumb.


I totally turn into Roy from The IT Crowd when I talk about this stuff. But, like, I've been told that I'm totally like Jen? Whatever, let's just have a #relevant The IT Crowd break, shall we?



STREAMING

If you don't want a copy of a tv show or movie on your hard drive and you want to watch something right away, instead of waiting for it to download, then you can Stream it.

A common misconception is that Streaming doesn't use up Bandwidth. Well, it's the exact same as downloading, in terms of internet usage.

Finding a Streamed video can be hard. There are loads of fakes! Stick to trusted sites, such as Watch Series. Open a few options, because sometimes things get removed and some sites are better than others, in terms of quality and speed.

I use Streaming because it's generally safer. You're not downloading a physical file to your harddrive and it's just easier to work out if something's fake or not. 

Some sites I aim to use when watching online are GorillaVid, DaClips, PutLocker, SockShare, AllMyVideos, VidBull and ClickToView. There are some good ones and some terrible ones. You'll work it out.



Things to Avoid

-"Do a Survey to watch", as I told my aforementioned friend, is a scam.
-"Download this program to download this file", as I told another friend, is probably a virus.
-If you're looking to download a music file, for example, check the extension. '.exe' is not a music format. It's probably a virus.
-Get an AdBlocker. That's just good common sense, really.
-If a '.rar' or '.zip' file requires a password, that doesn't mean it's a fake. MikkiSays is a good music download site that uses passwords. If they give you the password, it's fine (MikkiSays is the password for MikkiSays btw). If they require you to download the password, it's probably a virus.
-Your Anti-Virus program will not like a lot of things, that aren't actually viruses. Torrents make mine really twitchy, but they're fine 99% of the time.
-The standard episode titles are S00E00 and 00x00. For Episode 13 of Season 5 of a show, the code would be S05E13 or 5x13. There are some variations.
-I once downloaded Moonrise Kingdom, only to end up with Machine Gun Preacher. 
-Use common sense! If something claims to be a DVDRip, yet is too new to have been released on DVD, well, you deserve a virus if you still download it.
-Check for things like subtitles, language, source (eg. CAM means it was recorded via a camera, and will be terrible quality).


I hope that wasn't too boring! I'm just a little tired of having to explain this stuff to people, over-and-over again. So, it's there. My years of experience, summarized in a post. Happy Piracy!

Contributor: Kate, @Springerfield
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